Worst Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

in Humor Lifestyle by Jillian — February 11, 2010 | View Comments

There are 5 things that some man, somewhere is thinking about buying this Valentine’s Day. I am here to speak for women near and far to ask them to reconsider the following items. The thought does count with women (a little bit), but a good gift counts for a lot more.

Gift Cards

valentines day gift cards

Gift cards are great from your grandma because they are much better than a knitted sweater, but on Valentine’s Day a man should put a little more thought into it. Valentine’s Day is about expressing how much you love and care for someone so do a little research and show her how much you care.

*Please note that a gift certificate is different than a gift card. Gift certificates are for services rendered like massages and pedicures and are encouraged for purchase by women on Valentine’s Day.

Porn

valentines day porn

There’s nothing wrong with adding porn to your sex life, but Valentine’s Day isn’t about sex to her. On Valentine’s Day she doesn’t want to just have sex, she wants to make love. Plan some slow and sensual love making with a lot of eye contact this holiday.

Appliances or Home Décor Items

valentines day crock pot

She may need a new Crock Pot or dishwasher, but that’s not what she wants for Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing romantic about doing the dishes.

An I.O.U.

valentines day iou

Some people think that a made up I.O.U. is the best gift to give. It’s not. It’s total crap. People who give so called “coupons” for a dinner out or to clean the bathroom most likely forgot about Valentine’s Day. The woman receiving the gift is thinking just that when she opens it too.

Gas Station Flowers

valentines day cheap flowers

Men probably think flowers are flowers, right? Wrong! Buying your girlfriend flowers from a gas station is encouraged any day of the year except anniversaries, birthdays and holidays. Gas station flowers are a perfect gift to give a woman on a Tuesday to say “I’m thinking of you,” but on anniversaries, birthdays and holidays men should upgrade a little.

*On a side note, remember never to give carnations to a woman that you’d like to see naked. Carnations have a bad rap with women. For some reason, women think carnations are the flower that men give their moms, co-workers and friends.

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Author: Jillian

After working several years in not for profit as an advocate for the tatas, Jillian felt it was time to focus on the muff. Jillian is still unsure if the equator is a real line that goes around the Earth or just an imaginary one, but who the hell cares because she's got a great rack. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.