10 Worst Guys in the Urinal Next To You

in Humor by RZ — December 15, 2009 | View Comments

Every guy makes several trips to the urinal throughout the course of an evening, and there is a good chance you’ll run into someone that needs to make a production of it. You can rarely walk into the restroom without being able to handle your business and leave. Muff Slap has decided to take a look at the 10 guys most likely to be standing at the stall next to you. Each with their own style and grace.

The No Hands Guy

Doing his superman pose while relieving himself.

The Leaner

The guy who can’t stand on his own, and is always leaning on the wall.

The Multi-tasker

Texting, chatting, gaming, or making a phone call while taking care of business.

The Wasted Guy

Probably swaying or leaning against something to keep him from falling over. Or pissing while a classy lady is squatting in the stall next to him.

The Guy who Compares

The guy that is trying to not get caught comparing his junk to yours, but is always obvious.

The Talker

He decides that since you are standing in the stall next to him, you are best friends. Subjects including women, sports, music, and penis size are all discussed during this time.

The Super Reliever

This guy sounds like he has not taken a piss in 3 days and is emptying a fire hose.

The Observer

This guy is looking around the bathroom like he is sight seeing at a local museum.

The Sleeper

The guy that is leaning his head back with his eyes closed and looks like he is going to pass out. Once his body gives out, he ends up face first in the urinal.

The Public Service announcer

This guy makes an obvious and annoying statement to the entire bathroom hoping for someone to answer.

The Shy Guy

Looks straight ahead and might be too nervous to go for whatever reason.

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Author: RZ

RZ is the godfather of the site. When he is not sipping on the sweet nectars of a local vineyard's product, he can be found practicing yoga or reading classics from the Romantic Era. He considers himself one of the few remaining of the endangered species known as the "Distinguished Gentleman."