If Spam Ruled The World…

in Humor Lifestyle by RZ — January 10, 2010 |

Most people rarely communicate via phone call these days unless it is for business purposes. You usually communicate with your friends and family via e-mail and text messages. The e-mails you get are pretty standard communication whether it is an e-mail from your parents or grandparents checking in on you or an e-mail from your friends telling you about what is going on this weekend. The majority of people never check their spam inbox because we all know that it is just unsolicited junk mail. However, Muff Slap decided to take a look at your spam inbox to see what life would really be like if spam ruled the world.

1. You would be eating at Applebee’s and Chili’s for most of your lunches and dinners. $25, $50, and $100 dollar gift certificates would be emailed to you free on a daily basis.

2. You would have the latest lap top, iphone and electronics out there because you would receive ridiculous deals via email. Whether you are looking to get the latest Dell lap top or most recent iPhone or Blackberry, you would always receive at least 90% off on these items.

3. Your medicine cabinet would be fully stocked at deeply discounted prices. Whether you are looking for pain killers, depression medicine, or sexual performance pills you can certainly procure them from your nearest spam e-mail at deeply discounted prices.

4. You will be one of the most well traveled people in the world. If you can’t decide on a cruise, a weekend getaway, or an exotic vacation the e-mails will continue to overflow your spam box with offers of completely free vacations.

5. You could have a Russian wife delivered to your door in 30 minutes or less. There are countless offers for women from Russia and the surrounding countries looking to come over to the United States and satisfy your every need. These offers make it as easy as if you were shopping an online catalog for a new pair of shoes.

6. You would have a thriving career working from home in your pajamas. You can either work for Google, do some online marketing, or get rich from selling products on Ebay and will be making thousands of dollars a day from your living room.

7. Your house would have the lowest refinanced rate in America. Even if you can’t afford your current payments, there is a company willing to give you the lowest fixed rate ever to make sure you are savings hundreds a month on mortgage payments.

8. Your black book and love life would be thriving. If you are looking for your soul mate or a one time fling, there are hundreds of women in your neighborhood just knocking on the door just waiting to meet you.

9. You will be able to connect with family members that you never knew you had. People with your last name will be reaching out to you from all over the world offering some of the best deals in the world and you should instantly trust them because they have the same last name as you.

10. Your investment portfolio will be flourishing because you just inherited 8 million dollars from a Nigerian prince that needs your help in transfering his wealth; luckily he has picked your to be the beneficiary.

So, if you want to live the spam life, just follow these 4 simple rules:

1. Forward this article to 25 of your closest friends and family so they can benefit from these exciting offers.
2. Click on the brief survey below and fill out a few easy questions to get these gifts shipped to you.
3. Send us your mailing and credit card information for verification purposes on the contact page next to this exciting offer.
4. Reply in the comment section below with your banking information and then send us a check for $1,000 dollars to cover the transfer fees and we will wire you the 8 million dollars you just inherited from a Nigerian prince.

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Tags: internet spam spam