The Simple Truth: Random Rant

in The Simple Truth by RZ — November 2, 2009 |

The three most certainties in a person’s lifetime use to be life, death, and taxes. As society continues to evolve, we need adjust life’s certainties as well. The facts listed below are the plain truth. If you choose to disagree with them, you’re most likely in denial.

Ed Hardy

Ed Hardy never was and never will be stylish. I don’t care how old you are or if you were one the first ones to pay $100 dollars for a tee shirt with dragons and graffiti on it. There is a reason that the majority of this clothing line can be found in the clearance section of your local Ross or Marshall’s store. There is no reason if you are over the age of 40 that you should not be wearing this line of clothing. Your children will be constantly teased for your pathetic attempt to dress young and trendy. If your kids are at least in their teens they should be punished for allowing you to wear this horrible fashion nonsense.

Internet Models

The recent trend of every girl on Myspace and Facebook declaring they’re models because their friend owns an expensive camera and asked to take some pictures of them in a bikini or lingerie is ridiculous. I understand he may be really great at taking pictures or he just opened up his own studio, but ladies come on lets be serious. Just because he gives you the negatives to post on Facebook or Myspace and says you look gorgeous, does not mean he really thinks that but rather he is hoping for free exposure for the next want to be model to pay him $500 to take some photos of her to submit to a lame agency. When you are getting paid a minimum of three times your current rent for a shoot then maybe you can start stating this as your career of choice.

Ugg Boots and Fat Chicks

Do fat chicks buy the most obnoxious Ugg boots in hopes that men can’t stop looking at her feet to realize the rest of her is fat? Don’t get me wrong I am a huge fan of Ugg boots on a girl with a nice set of legs that leads up to a cute skirt. However, every time I see a larger lady sporting these stylish boots it is never your standard pair, but rather the most obnoxious pair with a crazy design or the furry balls hanging off of them. Are these ladies hoping to catch a man’s attention with the boots to state they too can be sexy and stylish? Or are they honestly hoping that their pair of boots with the fur are so obnoxious that we will never get past the top of the boot to realize the boot is best thing they have going for them?

Murse (Man Purse)

A murse (man purse) is never acceptable. I don’t care what European country you just came from where this was popular. Just stop. If you own a murse, you should take the strap and strangle yourself with it. Even as society is more acceptable of the well-groomed and stylish metro sexual guy this is one trend that needs to stay hung in the closet forever.

Sexy Stewardess

What happen to the mystique and sex appeal of the hot stewardess? Every time I board a plane there is never a good looking one but rather ladies that look like they got laid off from your local library or just left your aunt’ s bridge club to work this flight.

If you disagree with any of these statements or want to submit your own simple truth for consideration please feel free to leave a comment for review or contact us.

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Author: RZ

RZ is the godfather of the site. When he is not sipping on the sweet nectars of a local vineyard's product, he can be found practicing yoga or reading classics from the Romantic Era. He considers himself one of the few remaining of the endangered species known as the "Distinguished Gentleman."