Man vs. Woman: The Toilet Seat
In today’s society, people are used to instant answers and gratification within a few clicks of the mouse or quick search on your iPhone. There are thousands of publications, websites, articles, and blogs giving you advice about the opposite sex or ways to improve yourself. However, rarely do these sources give you insight about what both sexes are thinking. Our very own Man vs. Woman series will dissect topics about relationships, dating, breaking up, sex, marriage, and everyday life to give you some insight as to what exactly your partner is probably thinking.
The toilet seat goes up and down.
She Said:
Yes a toilet seat goes up and it goes down, but it belongs down just like a car door belongs closed. You open a car door to get in, but you must close it before you go because there are repercussions if you don’t. You lift the toilet seat to go potty, but you must close it before you go. Again, there are repercussions if you don’t. The idea of your girl ass deep in toilet water in the middle of the night might sound funny, but waking up to her screaming, pissed off ass, isn’t. Avoid an upset and kindly put the seat down.
He Said:
We don’t even think about the toilet seat for a second. If we are not in a hurry we will generally lift the seat, but if we really have to go, we take aim and hope our accuracy does not fail us. When we are finished we want to zip up and leave. We do not give any thought on whether to put it down or leave it up. If we leave it up it is strictly because we forgot, not because we are mad at you or did it consciously. On the contrary, if we put it down we are not trying to make you happy or be considerate; it is more of a mental repetitious act or quite possibly it just fell down on its own. We give no thought to this act regardless of what stage the relationship is in. There is a great chance that we left the toilet seat exactly as it was when we entered, regardless of the position.
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Author:
Jillian and Ryan were high school sweet hearts who were destined to live a fairy tale life. However, as they grew up their destiny seemed to change. Both realized they had a lot to learn about the opposite sex before any lifetime commitments could be made. Even though they remain friends today, any opportunity to insult the other person and and their sex is a temptation too great to resist.
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3 Comments
2009-09-28
14:20:41
From my experience as a guy, it's just easier to put the toilet seat up because women will remind you every time you forget.
2009-10-16
00:47:01
He couldn't have said it any better.
2009-10-28
16:15:42
It's simple, look before you pee. If I go in and the toilet seat is down am I just going to piss all over it without looking and make a mess then complain the seat was down and I had to touch the seat to put it up? No. Then why should you?
Double standards are fun! Hell I'm doing you a favor then cause if you had to lift the seat rather then put it down you would be pissing yourself all the time. If you have a girl that complains about it you should debate her and win. Not all girls are like this! Guys have to sit on seats too and aren't splashing down when the seat is up or wondering why because we simply didn't check if it was up or down. Men aren't concerned with such petty things like this and don't care about it but if we are putting it down it is most likely because of nagging or the dog.