How to Convince Your Girlfriend to Get a Boob Job

So, you’re a guy who likes a good rack, but unfortunately your girlfriend is lacking in the boobage department. You have two options: find a new girlfriend, or convince her to pay a visit to the plastic surgeon. A few thousand dollars and a few hours under the knife can take your girl from a pathetic set of mosquito bites to a promising future at Hooters.
If you’ve been trying to figure out how to convince your girlfriend to wisely invest in a boob job, here are a few tips to get the ball rolling.
- Post a picture on Facebook of your girl standing next to her big-boobed friends. Your girlfriend’s A cups will look even smaller when compared to her friends plentiful racks. If she mentions anything about the photo, just say, “I think you look great, but if it bothers you, you should definitely do something about it.” Congratulations, my friend. You’ve just planted the idea of a boob job in your lady’s head. Plant this seed and with a little bit of nurturing, it will begin to grow.
- Buy her an outfit that fits her well everywhere except her chest. There’s nothing more humiliating for a woman than to slip into a sexy dress or nightie only to have the cups gape open. Don’t be surprised if your girlfriend declines to try it on for you, claiming that she’d rather wait until she gets a tan or loses some weight. What she’s really saying is, “There is no way in hell I am letting you see me in this until I can fill out the top.”
- By now, your girlfriend should be considering a boob job, and may have even mentioned the idea to you. When she brings it up, reassure her that you like her body just the way it is, even if that means telling a little white lie. Saying things like, “You’ll always be perfect to me,” and “I’ll support you no matter what,” gets you big points as an awesome boyfriend, and makes it clear that surgery is her idea. The last thing you want in this stage of the game is your girlfriend asking, “Why can’t you just love me the way I am,” or worse, “I don’t ask you to lose weight/get hair plugs/grow a bigger penis.” No one wins when the game turns ugly.
- Finally, eliminate any last-minute doubts by asking friends who already have breast implants to be spokeswomen for plastic surgery. Your girlfriend might be worried about pain or scarring, but a quick conversation with someone who’s already gone under the knife can clear up most of these concerns. Most importantly, keep her away from photos of Tara Reid at all costs.
Lastly, do not get jealous when your lady gets more attention post-surgery than she did in the past. Other guys may look, but you’re still the only one with an all-access pass.
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6 Comments
2009-10-20
12:27:12
Such a clever article, I now know that to do on my next gf. I will have to give you a status update whenever that is.
2009-10-20
15:56:56
Genius.
2009-11-18
16:11:57
This is what gives men a bad name.
2009-11-19
15:58:17
what a load of shit. no girl is ever going to fall for any of that. if you americans think it'll work you're even stupider than the rest of the world already thinks you are!
2010-08-06
23:00:31
Some good ideas here, but I'd suggest you check out the Convince Her [to get bigger breasts, obviously] Manual. More than a few tricks, it's a whole approach to winning the war without a fight, with a positive approach. If she 'signs on', then it works. If she doesn't, then there's no point in pushing further. This is available at implants4her.com and you can order it there and give it a shot. The author's got a long history of success in this. His current girlfriend (see photos on the site) has had 3 augmentations, two since they got together, and a third is entirely her idea.
2010-08-24
16:02:40
I tried ordering the Convince Her Manual that Ivan mentioned, but didn't receive it after a week. Thought it might be fun to try to convince the girlfriend. There is no contact info on the site, so it looks like I'll have to dispute the charge with PayPal.