10 Fearless Halloween Predictions

in Lifestyle by RZ — October 29, 2009 |

Halloween is one of mans five favorite days of the year because it is the one day where the most boring and conservative girls feel obligated to dress slutty. There will be plenty of great house parties and special events catering to some of the most outrageous, hilarious, and sexiest costumes that you could ever imagine. With that being said, here are my fearless predictions that will occur at your party. Guys please read up so you don’t fall victim to the list.

You will wake up with regret because the girl you woke up next to is not as attractive as you thought last night.
There will be more Michael Jackson costumes at your party than there were prescription bottles next to his bedside when he passed away.
You will consume more cocktails than candy on Halloween. This is the sole reason that you will feel like crap the morning after.
There will be a guy at your party wearing the same costume as you. Only his will be sweeter or he will just look better in it.
You will hit on a chick based solely on your costumes and she will most likely reject you because of it.
1 out of every 5 costumes at your party will be of a celebrity that has died within the last year.
You will need to lift your jaw from the floor at least once during the night because you will see a gorgeous woman in a costume that you can’t believe she left the house in.
You will envision sleeping with nearly every attractive woman at the party, but will still want her to wear a select few pieces of her costume in bed.
At one point in the night, with enough liquid courage, you will portray the role or character that you are dressed up as. It will not be that funny, but people will laugh only because they feel bad for you and they are drunk.
There will be one guy at the party with an orange pumpkin basket handing out condoms. He will think he is hilarious and that it is an easy way for him to strike up a conversation with the women at the party.

Tags: funny halloween stories

Link to this article:

Author: RZ

RZ is the godfather of the site. When he is not sipping on the sweet nectars of a local vineyard's product, he can be found practicing yoga or reading classics from the Romantic Era. He considers himself one of the few remaining of the endangered species known as the "Distinguished Gentleman."