Man vs Woman: The Email Break Up

in Dating & Sex Man vs. Woman by Man vs Woman — November 4, 2009 | View Comments

In today’s society, people are used to instant answers and gratification within a few clicks of the mouse or quick search on your iPhone. There are thousands of publications, websites, articles, and blogs giving you advice about the opposite sex or ways to improve yourself. However, rarely do these sources give you insight about what both sexes are thinking. Our very own Man vs. Woman series will dissect topics about relationships, dating, breaking up, sex, marriage, and everyday life to give you some insight as to what exactly your partner is probably thinking.

They asked you out via email, can you break-up with them via email?

She Said:

Breaking up via email is a total cop out. Have some respect for your soon to be ex and tell them face to face why things are not working out. I understand that sending an email is much more comfortable. You have time to think about what you want to say and the opportunity to find synonyms so you can include big words, but an in depth electronic mail won’t make it hurt any less. The only thing it does is make things easier for you. Sit down and talk with them to make them understand why it isn’t going to work for you. Try to end things on a positive note.

If you don’t have the balls for a face-to-face break up and feel the need to send an email, send with discretion. You are putting something in writing that essentially could be used against you and likely will be forwarded to many of his or her friends. Be brief, stern, kind and make sure it is sent to their personal email. I once got a break up email at work in the middle of the day. It was from a guy I was seeing for several months and whom I really liked. Twenty minutes before I was supposed to be making a presentation, I got an email from him letting me know he had been sleeping with another girl and no longer wanted to see me. I wanted to cry, scream or even kick something, but I was in a cubicle with a lot of people around me so I knew I needed to stay professional. I walked into the restroom, kicked the wall, washed my hands and walked out. I didn’t respond to his email nor did I contact him again. I barely even thought about him after that night because he didn’t deserve my time or energy.

He Said:

Breaking up via e-mail is the easiest thing to do and that is why we do it. We want to avoid any shocking, awkward, or confrontational response from telling her that you want to break up. However, this is not the right thing to do and will end up causing you more pain, trouble, and work in the long run.

For starters, where ever she reads this email, she will probably have a complete and total break down and start crying. The people around her will then comfort her and when she comes down, she will read your e-mail and then trash your name like you are the plague. In addition, she will share with all of her friends how you broke up, so if you were hoping to hook up with one of her friends you just hurt your chances by the cowardly e-mail break up.

After the shock factor wears off, she will have questions, I mean lots of questions, and this is where the constant e-mails, texts, and phone calls will start to set in. This will be a never ending process until you either block her from your cell phone, or send her e-mails straight to your junk folder. She will still probably want answers and show up somewhere or have her friends contact you to tell you what a jerk you are while secretly trying to find answers for her. This process could be a few weeks or several months of dealing with nonstop drama and communication from your ex and her friends.

Guys, my advice to you is to just be a man if you are going to break up with her. Sit her down in private and talk to her about it. Stay for as long as it takes. This won’t be the last you hear from her, but in the end, she and her friends will at least respect you for being a man and it will also greatly reduce the post break up drama in your life.

Related posts:

1. Man Vs Woman: The Holiday Break Up
2. Man vs Woman: Anal Sex
3. Man vs. Woman: The Phone Call
4. Man vs. Woman: Asking a Guy Out
5. Man vs. Woman: Paying for Dinner

Tags: break up by email email break up email breakup