The following post was written by our good friend Tony Nusret from www.advicelords.com. Tony Nusret is a writer/editor trying to make it in the urban jungle of Chicago. A stranger to all except his Snuggie, Tony is working his way to the billions and trillions usually netted by professional writers (with professional drug habits).

You know her type already. Her height is indeterminate because no one has ever seen her without huge heels. She’s weighing in between 85-92 self-loathing pounds and she has conspicuously fake boobs. But if you can see her ass bones through her leggings, which are partially obscured by her empire waist dress (that she owns in four hundred shades of pastel), then there’s no way she has D-cup boobs, there’s just no fu*king way.

It’s a little bit of an understatement to say that she wears makeup, it would be more accurate to say that her body weight is 40% concealer. I guess I don’t have a problem with all of that eye makeup, but then it’s curious to me that after all of that effort you would cover your eyes with sunglasses that are bigger than God’s balls. I have a hard time deciding which hair color I like best too, but I don’t solve the quandary by getting highlights of the entire color spectrum. I double dare you to tell me what your real hair color is, if you can, your thirty dollar macchiato is on me, princess.

I don’t know if your Louis Vutton bag is real or a knock-off, but I do know that everyone who sports your particular uniform has the exact same fu*king bag, which makes you a knock-off. Not exactly “couture” anymore, is it? I know you’ve gone through seriously intensive efforts to look attractive, but you’ve really only succeeded in looking like everyone else that has low self-esteem and too much money.

You gave up your identity, but at least you’re the best looking person in your Bio class, bravo. I know you idolize Paris Hilton, I guess I just wish that the fiery Old Testament God would start striking down false idol worshippers like a holy Rambo. Oh wow, you’re in that house huh? That’s impressive that you met all of those girls and still willingly joined their organization. But then again, what other house has a big enough parking lot for your Land Rover?

You are unoriginal, you are uninspired, and you are everything many men dream of/beat off to.

Perhaps I’ve painted myself into a corner here. I think at this point it’s safe to say that you can tell how I feel about this particular phenotype of girl. You’re right, I feel so bad for them. I think it’s a shame how much effort they put on the outside to cover up what’s just not there inside.

I feel bad for someone who is just not comfortable being him/herself. I pity people who are terrified yet ridicule those people who they’re not familiar with and don’t understand. And I feel worse that some of us men give you so much favorable attention, because this means you can drunkenly grind your way through life in a hapless daze, and never have to spend nights alone reflecting on who you are.

We worship these unhappy and meticulously groomed women because we ought to. Not because they embody something we want for ourselves, but because we’re conditioned to. We’re terrified of what’s underneath a pretty exterior. We don’t want to think they have stubble on their legs or bad breath or periods. Little pre-school lesson for you kids: Everybody Poops.

It’s not just these girls, it’s every strain of college student. It’s the counterculture nerds that Mike Weingarth loves (Hey guys, if everyone dresses counterculture then guess what?! You’re no longer original, you dumb bastards!) it’s the joke tee wearing asshats who make winking references to the fact that some businesses have names that could have double entendres, well played guys.

It’s everyone who would rather embody some collective aesthetic than try and see what works for them. You’re all making us look like jerks, and I hate you for it. You are Chipotle and Starbucks, familiar, overpriced, and wholly unoriginal. You are bland, and you try to pattern yourselves in such a way so as to be unobjectionable to everyone. Which means by the way, that you will be exceptional to no one. Well played, you have a successful career as an average person on deck, I hope you enjoy it.

Punkers, you can listen to Fergie if you want to, sure you’ll look like a goon, but if you let that define you, then you are a goon. Girls, you can eat like a person, men love it. Anyone who tells you that a girl who orders a medium rare steak and makes a legitimate attempt to eat isn’t hot, is a homosexual, end of story.

Being the same isn’t being hot, in fact, it’s ugly. You can have every magazine and TV show on your side and you’re still wrong, because those magazines and shows exist to sell you those products. What made Jackie-O and Coco Chanel hot was that they were their own women. If you try and act different by being those women, then you’ve missed the boat entirely.

Take a chance and be yourself. As much as people might dislike you for who you are, it’s nothing compared to how much you’ll dislike yourself if you’re constantly avoiding your true self. If you look around and notice that you’re doing what everyone else is doing, then that means you’re going where everyone else is going, straight to the middle. No one gets some place great by taking the safe road. And that’s real.

Be sure to visit www.advicelords.com to read more great articles by Tony Nusret.

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The following post was written by our good friend Tony Nusret from www.advicelords.com. Tony Nusret is a writer/editor trying to make it in the urban jungle of Chicago. A stranger to all except his Snuggie, Tony is working his way to the billions and trillions usually netted by professional writers (with professional drug habits).

I don’t have any children (that I acknowledge) but I have to say if I did have a vibrant, beautiful baby girl, I’d hope one day she’d grow up to be a slut. There are some folks who might consider slut a dirty, even offensive term. There are those who might even say the one thing they’d hope to avoid is that their children grow up to be sluts (sorry mom and dad!).

I ask you ladies and gentleman: What the fu*k is so bad about sleeping around?

For men, we never question that sleeping around is a given in our lives. It just makes sense that in a sea of 3 billion possible matches, you might not hit it out of the park your first time at bat. No one accuses men of being STD ridden, because if you’ve been around the block, you know to bring condoms, birth-control, and 2 gallons of bleach with you wherever you go. It’s people who don’t know proper wanging techniques that get pregnant or worse, flava flavitis.

The more times you do it, the better you get at it: this rule holds true for arson just as it does for fu*king. Practice, practice, practice. If you only have a few sexual partners or relationships, then chances are you will both be emotionally and sexually inexperienced, something the slut never needs to worry about.

I envy anyone, man or woman, who has the courage of heart to really go out there and tries to find someone special. To sleep around is to know a lot of awkwardness, regret, and the imitable feeling of someone straddling your heart and then dropping a balmy shit all over it.

I’ve had the pleasure of befriending, dating, and knowing several women who were called sluts on more than one occasion. What’s wrong with having sexual experience and partners in the past? You probably have too, and if not, it’s like an opportunity to learn how to play golf from Tiger Woods himself.

Women with sexual pasts are sexperts in ways you’ve never imagined if you spent your life trying to have sex with people who hopefully have never even shaken hands with the opposite sex. Virgins have no idea what the hell they’re doing. It takes years, maybe decades before some people learn how to cup the balls and stroke the shaft simultaneously. In fact, I still haven’t really mastered it.

If you’ve been around the field a few times, you also have a much better idea of what you want, and who you are in a relationship. Many people wait for that one relationship and put all their eggs and sperm into that basket, only to be inconsolable when it doesn’t work out for whatever reason.

Every person you’re with is an invaluable experience, and it teaches you how to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations; how to communicate with people you don’t always know really well, and mostly you learn about you, and your four billion bizarre neuroses (we know about that stuffed bear you still sleep with, what the fu*k’s with that?).

Mortal Kombat taught us long ago that “There is no knowledge that is not Power”, but somehow along the way we lost this simple eloquent message. All the knowledge I’ve learned in my erotic adventures have shaped the way I perceive and function inside of a relationships. It’s also taught me to carry a knife with me wherever I go.

Don’t worry if someone has other great sexual experiences outside of you. The fact that she’s there giving you the most tender rimjob of your life should tell you she wants to be there. My friend and confidant Cyndi recently told me that women can get sex whenever they want, but not a relationship as we all know. And men can get relationships whenever they want, but not just casual screwing, try as we might.

Anytime they choose, your ladies can go and slaughter more cock than KFC, and there’s really nothing you could do about it. But that’s okay, don’t let that make you feel insecure, and don’t let the people your lady has been with make you feel small by comparison.

So the next time you see a slut, go up to her and offer her a simple salute, so they know their invaluable services to society are not in vain. You sluts are one of our most precious resources, and it’s high time we started giving you the respect and cab fare you deserve.

Be sure to visit www.advicelords.com to read more great articles by Tony Nusret.

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10. Mike Matusow

To say that Mike “The Mouth” Matusow is vocal at the poker tables would be an understatement. Sometimes he’s so outspoken it borders on the bizarre.

9. Scotty Nguyen

Nguyen is a guy who is out to prove something. What he’s trying to prove and why, is probably just as much of a mystery to himself as it is to those who watch him.

8. Chris Ferguson

Chris “Jesus” Ferguson is a good poker player, there’s no doubt about it, but what’s with the Jesus complex?

7. Greg Raymer

If you’ve seen Raymer using his novelty shades you know why he made this list.

6. Matt Damon

Matt Damon of Rounders fame has actually played a few rounds at real poker tables, but his career hasn’t exactly skyrocketed in that department.

5. Vince Van Patten

Van Patten is supposedly a poker player too, but he is mostly known as the WPT announcer who makes it sound like he’s commenting a hockey game. Rumor has it he was also an actor at one time.

4. Tony G

Antanas “Tony G” Guoga has made a name for himself as one of the rudest player on the felt, and to this you can add that he hasn’t won any major tournament.

3. Jennifer Tilly

That Jennifer Tilly won a Ladies’ WSOP event could have been an indication that she was actually good, but then she participated in GSNs High Stakes Poker and offered proof of the exact opposite.

2. Jamie Gold

Jamie Gold is famous for being officially the worst poker player to win the World Series of Poker Main Event. The worst part is that he also won it at the peak of the poker boom. He now sits in the all-time money list and is an affront to real poker players everywhere.

1. Phil Hellmuth

If you only get to name one overblown and self-centered poker player, most observers single out Phil “The Brat” Hellmuth. His staged car crash in 5mph at the WSOP will no doubt go down in publicity-stunt history.

This post was written by Charlie River, a true poker enthusiast. Mr. River is a freelance poker writer, currently running the poker lifestyle blog over at PokerJunkie.com. Mr. River knows poker; and spends his time either trash talking Phil Hellmuth or reviewing poker sites.

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Red wine has nutrients that can assist in losing weight, but there is negative qualities to it as well. Red wine is full of empty calories, just like soda. However, it also contains modest amounts of the chemical resveratrol, which researchers believe plays a large part in maintaining a healthy diet. A University in England studied the effects of resveratrol on the human body, and has come to the understanding that the chemical may be used as a dietary supplement someday. Resveratrol works in conjunction with a gene in the human body that helps promote longevity, which spells good health, if not weight loss. High levels of resveratrol can be found in red wine, but even if you drink healthy amounts daily, it’s not going to make a difference in your weight.

The immediate answer many supply to this conundrum is: drink more wine! Nutrition scientists and researchers will eventually find a way to isolate resveratrol in order to provide a safer alternative. This will deliver the health benefits  of red wine without drinking inappropriate amounts of alcohol. If you enjoy one or two glasses a day, you’ll be fine, it’s still good for you.

Other myths about wine include the old saying that wine aids in digestion by breaking down your food more effectively. As a wine drinker, you’ve probably heard several different versions of this. In fact, wine doesn’t help your digestion at all! Furthermore, wine consumption during meals, actually takes nutrients from the body. Enzymes and acids in your stomach actively break down your food to deliver nutrients and vitamins to the rest of your body. This is one reason why smart wine drinkers usually take their wine, or cocktails, before or after dinner.

The calories in wine compared to other cocktails are a breeze. The average glass of red wine has about 70 to 100 calories. A smooth cocktail, or dessert drink can have anywhere from 200 to over 400 calories. The occasional Mudslide is just one of many guilty pleasures. In truth, while sweet cocktails are lovely, they should be treated like any other “sweet” thing, it’s a treat. A healthy diet should include minimal amounts of desserts and treats. In terms of wine consumption, one glass a day for women, two for men, is considered part of a healthy diet. If possible, change your drinking habits to consume wine a couple hours after you’ve eaten, this way your body absorbs all the nutrients during your meal.

The following article was contribute by ours friends at NapaWinetours.com. From wine tasting advice, to reviews of the best wineries in Napa Valley, Napa Wine Tours has it all.

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I’ve searched the Interwebbage high and low in the search of the world’s Lamest Emo/Goth/Gay Moth Man of Darkness (whatever they call themselves).

Here’s the list I’ve compiled. I’ve given each member of this exclusive pose a razor blade rating out of 10.

10 = Emo-tastic
1 = Only owns one black t-shirt

Orangutan Faced Sook-Armed Gimp

This fat prick has plenty to sulk about. His eyes not only have to deal with a thinning fringe obscuring his vision, but surely the orangutan-like brow trying to migrate its way down to his puffy cheeks would be concerning. I’m not sure if the folded arms are a protest to his mom to give him back his twinkie or a protest to god to give him back his neck.

6 Razor Blades

Brow-down in front of your Princess of Darkness

When you are butt ugly, drawing attention to your face is generally not high on your list of priorities.

Shooting yourself in the face with a makeup gun set to “clown” is badass, but shaving off your eyebrows so they create a flowing line highlighting your facial shame is simply hardcore!

For this I give “Clowny No-Brow McEmo” a rating of…

7 Razor Blades

Morbidly Obese Emo Flashing the McDonalds Gang Sign

Being this freaky ugly and willing to stand in front of a mirror and reflect the horrible truth of yourself earns you serious razor blade points in my book. Deciding that the ass clown looking back at you should be photographed and uploaded to the internet, bumps this fat, black-lipped Emo up to a perfect 10 Razor Blades.

Unfortunately this would be Nadia Comaneci of the Emo parallel bars didn’t quite stick his landing and must be deducted 1 Razor Blade for that fat fingered gang sign.

9 Razor Blades

Venus de Emo

This Emo has rare attributes that instantly skyrocket her into the top percentile of Emology. Being a midget wasn’t enough for this little lass, she also rocks the double arm stumps.

This look is a modern day statement that says: “Your ancient female ideals have changed man! I’m the modern day Venus de Milo and just you try and fu*k with me!”

“Give her the winners black sash right now so we can all head home,” I can hear you say. Sorry, but I must harshly penalize her 3 Razor Blades for breaking the #1 Emo rule. She’s at a bowling alley, where there is the slight possibility that you might have fun. Emo’s should never have fun!

7 Razor Blades

Grimace gone Goth

The fat dude in this photo has got to be the internet’s best known Goth/Emo pinup boy. His massive bulk meant that with a few gym sessions, he could have been a blocker for his high school’s football team. This would have gotten him laid by a plethora of hotties, trying to sleep their way to the quarterback. This is known as “getting the foxies by proxy”. Instead, he has chosen a much darker path, which involves him wearing the world’s first Goth Moo Moo and being chained to a little princess.

This is like a bizarre-o parallel Star Wars world where Jabba is chained to Leia.

8 Razor Blades

Cyclops Emo with Hair Clip

This little fruit would bring out the desire in Gandhi to punch him in that stupid teenage moustache. That is the power of this specimen of Emology. The only thing stopping him from getting a large razor blade ranking is the fact that, in the background, he has given away his trade secret for that lovely raven fringe. Everyone knows Emos should wash their hair with tears not Garnier Fructis.

5 Razor Blades

Emo Blue Steel

This forlorn look is coming from a master, a true artisan of angst. After Grimace gone Goth, this would have to be the internet’s second most recognizable Emo/Goth. As the French say, he has a certain Je ne sais quoi, that makes you want to throw off the shackles of love and forgiveness, and throw scolding hot water on his face. This would give those pathetic eyes a real reason to be pink.

9 Razor Blades

Androgynous Private Pile that eats Jelly Doughnuts and your Soul

Seriously don’t look into her…um…his…ah…it’s eyes to long or it will possess the shit out of you, like Vigo the Carpathian from Ghost Busters 2. I’m actually going to stop writing and hand this spawn of Satan the Black Sash of Victory right now.

10 Razor Blades

What was that you said? “Leave them alone you prick, I used to be a goth and no one got me? Being a teen can be a dark time!”

My answer to that is everyone knows different = bad. They must be derided and bullied or else the fabric of society will fall apart. Darwinism wasn’t invented by the turtles in the Galapagos for us to lie down and let these little freaks take over!

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to visit www.thelamest.com for more awesomeness like this.

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Considering that one of the most well known Mardi Gras traditions is women flashing their boobs for a strand of beads, it is hard to believe that the holiday celebration sprung from the Catholic church. Mardi Gras, also known as “Fat Tuesday” or “Shrove Tuesday,” is a pre-Lenten festival that was originally celebrated by the Roman Catholic church. However, today Christians and other people who love to eat, drink and party also celebrate. Lent is a forty day (amount of days vary depending on type of Christian faith) fasting period where Catholics and other Christians fast and practice penance. They do this in preparation for the celebration of Jesus’ victory over sin and death. Mardi Gras is the last day and last opportunity to feast, drink and celebrate before the forty days of fasting.

Today, Mardi Gras has become more than just one day of feasting, drinking and celebrating. It has become a season of celebration that some practice from Epiphany (January 6) to Ash Wednesday. Most commonly today though, people make it a four day celebration starting the Saturday before Ash Wednesday. The most famous cities for their elaborate Mardi Gras celebrations include Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, New Orleans in the United States, Quebec City in Canada and Mazatlan in Mexico.

Jambalaya, Muffuletta, Gumbo, Feijoada, Churrasco de Fraldinha, King Cake, Paczki and Papaya are just a tiny handful of foods traditionally served to celebrate Mardi Gras. Foods served are usually based on a person’s heritage or where the person is celebrating. Cajun foods are common at celebrations in the southern part of the United States, Churrasco is big in Brazil, Paczkis are well known in Polish communities and potato pancakes with the Irish. Wherever the celebrations occur, you are sure to see a lot of meats and sweets at the feasts.

Some say the colors of Mardi Gras are gold, green and purple, but Mardi Gras is actually the most colorful holiday of the year. The parades and carnivals that take place are known for their elaborate floats, outfits and headdresses. Everyone who celebrates is encouraged to dress in their finest and most colorful apparel. Masks are also common at Mardi Gras celebrations. People started wearing masks at Mardi Gras celebrations to disguise themselves from other people as they played out their final days of fun before the penitence of Lent.

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Many people believe that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday created by Hallmark to increase business; however Valentine’s Day legends started far before Hallmark was born. It is believed that in the third century in Rome, there was a priest named Valentine who served as a soldier. When the emperor at the time decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed married for young men. Valentine defied the emperor and continued to perform marriages in secret for young lovers. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, the emperor ordered his death.

Some believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine’s death, but others believe that the Christian church chose February in efforts to Christianize celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. Lupercalia was a fertility festival celebrated on February 15th. To begin, the men would gather in a secret cave to sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. They would then slice the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into blood and take them to the streets to gently slap the women with them. Women wanted to be touched with the goathide strips because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year.

After running the streets and smacking women with the goathide strips, the city’s bachelors would then pull a name from the city’s urn to become matched with a young woman. These matches often ended in marriage. About two-hundred years later though, Pope Gelasius deemed these practices un-Christian and outlawed them. He did, however, recognize St. Valentine as a saint and declared February 14th as a day to feast in Valentine’s honor.

During the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day gained back its romantic feel. In Europe, February 14th also marked the start of mating season for birds and people believed it should be a day for romance. Men used this day to write romantic letters to their lovers. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for lovers and friends to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten letters. However, by the end of the century, printed cards began to replace the handwritten cards due to the improvements in printing technology.

Today, it is common for lovers and friends all over the world to share cards, chocolates, flowers and other tokens of affection to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is considered a day for lovers full of hearts to symbolize love and the color red to symbolize passion. Symbols of Cupid, the god of erotic love and beauty, also appear in celebration of the holiday.

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Gift Cards

Gift cards are great from your grandma because they are much better than a knitted sweater, but on Valentine’s Day a man should put a little more thought into it. Valentine’s Day is about expressing how much you love and care for someone so do a little research and show her how much you care.

*Please note that a gift certificate is different than a gift card. Gift certificates are for services rendered like massages and pedicures and are encouraged for purchase by women on Valentine’s Day.

Porn

There’s nothing wrong with adding porn to your sex life, but Valentine’s Day isn’t about sex to her. On Valentine’s Day she doesn’t want to just have sex, she wants to make love. Plan some slow and sensual love making with a lot of eye contact this holiday.

Appliances or Home Décor Items

She may need a new Crock Pot or dishwasher, but that’s not what she wants for Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing romantic about doing the dishes.

An I.O.U.

Some people think that a made up I.O.U. is the best gift to give. It’s not. It’s total crap. People who give so called “coupons” for a dinner out or to clean the bathroom most likely forgot about Valentine’s Day. The woman receiving the gift is thinking just that when she opens it too.

Gas Station Flowers

Men probably think flowers are flowers, right? Wrong! Buying your girlfriend flowers from a gas station is encouraged any day of the year except anniversaries, birthdays and holidays. Gas station flowers are a perfect gift to give a woman on a Tuesday to say “I’m thinking of you,” but on anniversaries, birthdays and holidays men should upgrade a little.

*On a side note, remember never to give carnations to a woman that you’d like to see naked. Carnations have a bad rap with women. For some reason, women think carnations are the flower that men give their moms, co-workers and friends.

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Valentine’s Day is the most fabricated Hallmark holiday ever created, but it is the perfect opportunity for a single guy to go out and find a girl that night. Sure, most of your friends that are in relationships are out celebrating with fancy dinners and gifts, so consider yourself lucky to not be wasting money on a girlfriend for the simple fact she can tell her friends and co-workers about what an amazing night she had. There are going to be plenty of single girls out on Valentines Day and here are a few tips to help increase your chances of walking away with one at the end of the night.

Do Your Homework

In order to have any decent chance of finding where the single women in your town might be headed you need to do a little homework. So ask your single friends, check bar promotions, or look online for any singles parties or “love sucks” bar crawls because the more ladies the better your chances. You are going to have to venture past your local dive bar or your favorite sports bar on Valentines Day because there is a good chance the single ladies will not drinking their sorrows in either one of these establishments. If you don’t find a good place to go, you have already decreased your chances significantly and are going to be one of the twenty-four drunk patrons at your sports bar hitting on the two single ladies there.

Have a Good Wing Man

This one comes down to numbers and approachability. If you go out with five buddies, there is a good chance that you and your five friends could be attracted to the same one or two attractive girls and you are going to be fighting your buddies to win her attention. You should bring one friend or if you have a good wing girl, she can be an asset as well. When you are traveling in a small group, you can approach any size group of women and not be overbearing. A wing woman can be a perfect teammate if she is not to over protective and willing to start up conversations with the ladies. In addition, by having an attractive wing women, that speaks highly of you and the ladies in the bar will be intrigued as to how you can be out on Valentine’s Day with this attractive lady and just be able to be friends. So you might want to consider buying your single girl who is a friend a couple of drinks and leave your buddy at home. The only thing to keep in mind is if you do bring a good girl friend, she must know her role and can’t be there to hurt your game or think you are are unavailable.

Have a Go To Story

This is the one part of the evening that is going to require you to potentially fabricate part of your past. If you do start up a conversation with an attractive lady, she is certainly going to ask you why you are single. This is where it can get tricky; you want to have a story or two in your pocket about either a recent break up where she devastated you to go with the sympathy approach and the straight laced we just broke up because we wanted different things. You need to have a story for both depending on the lady you are having a conversation with.

Don’t Talk About Your Ex

This is a cardinal rule when you are on a date with any girl, but especially on Valentines Day; don’t talk about your ex. Sure you want to have a story about why you are single, but no need to go into details or the specifics of your past relationship. When you talk about your ex with another girl, she is instantly going to be turned off and think you are still hooked on her or that she is still stuck in your head and she will envision you always comparing her to your ex. In addition, do not dig too deep on Valentines Day about why she is single. Sure you can ask surface level questions, but if you go too deep, it’s going to bring back unpleasant memories and if you add a little liquor to that night, she could end up crying in the bar.

Keep Her Glass Full

Let’s face it, when people get drunk they make bad decisions. Valentines Day is no exception, but rather the opposite where a girl might be feeling sad or vulnerable and be willing to make a bad decision with enough liquid courage. Make sure she is having a good time and the drinks are casually flowing. This does not mean 12 Jagerbombs so she can’t stand and you have to carry her home; just use good judgement. Hopefully, you can judge her tolerance and befriend her through conversation, laughter, and booze to the point she does not realize what your underlying intentions have been the whole time.

Happy Valentines Day and good luck my friends!

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I grew up in Illinois just hop, skip and a jump from where the infamous movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray was filmed. Needless to say, celebrations of this holiday are pretty big in the stomping grounds where I was raised. In high school it was mandatory to be at the school by five am in order to partake in ridiculous groundhog themed games. If you didn’t show, it would count against your grade in science.

Groundhog Day, as it is celebrated in the United States and Canada, originated in Pennsylvania in the 18th century. It takes place on February 2nd each year. This American and Canadian holiday was derived from a similar celebration in Europe where a badger or sacred bear was used to determine how much longer the winter would last. The Europeans who brought this tradition over used groundhogs instead of bears because they were safer and easier to come by. Unlike a bear, a groundhog could be present at the festivals. People come together at the wee early hours of the morning to celebrate and eat with family, friends and neighbors. Breakfast foods like donuts and pastries are mostly served at these celebrations. Groundhog themed games take place for the children and the adults take bets on if the groundhog will see his shadow or not.

The theory is if the groundhog sees his shadow when he comes out of his burrow then he will be scared and retreat back into his burrow. This means there is another six weeks of winter ahead. If the groundhog comes out of his burrow and doesn’t see his shadow and retreat back to his burrow, then we will experience an early spring. The most famous groundhog today is Punxsutawney Phil who resides in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Nearly 40,000 people flock to Punxsutawney each year to see Phil and millions across the nation view footage of him in the news.

Depending on who you ask, the accuracy rate of the groundhog’s prediction varies. Proponents of the holiday insist that groundhogs have had an accuracy rate of about 80%, but according to the National Climatic Data, the accuracy rate is only about 37%. This data can also vary depending on what city this data is taken from. Groundhog Day is mostly celebrated in Canada, the Midwest and northern half of the East Coast, but even though these providences and states experience much of the same weather, statistics of what constitutes as spring weather varies. In recent years, some have argued that global warming has impacted the groundhog’s ability to predict accurately.

Groundhog Day may seem like a silly holiday, but it is a tradition that some hold dear and take seriously. Even if one doesn’t believe in the groundhog, he or she may still wonder what the groundhog’s prediction may be. I’ve given up on the groundhog predictions, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t anticipate his prediction and pig out on special groundhog shaped sweets February 2nd each year.

Related posts:

1. The History of Halloween
2. The History of Mardi Gras
3. Funny Christmas Cards for the Holidays