Ask A Hot Chick: Bad in Bed

in Ask a Hot Chick by Jillian — November 11, 2009 |

I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year and the sex isn’t very good. It’s actually more of a chore. I even cheated on my boyfriend once with my ex. I love him and he is a super sweet guy, but whenever we have sex all I can think about is when will this be over? What should I do?

~ Anonymous

For you to say “the sex isn’t very good” and that you’ve cheated on your boyfriend tells me that you really aren’t into this guy. Either you think he is a nice guy and you don’t want to hurt him so you are staying with him or maybe you are a girl who can’t be alone? Is it possible that you are stringing him along until something better comes your way?

The first thing I think you need to do is reevaluate why you are with this guy. You say you love him, but do you “love” him or are you “in love” with him? There’s a big difference. Loving someone puts your heart and mind in a place that makes you care for them at more of a friend level. As a friend, you are happy when you are with that person, you feel comfortable and you have fun. Being “in love” with someone creates a whole different level of attraction. Being with that person makes you happy, you feel comfortable (with a few butterflies in the stomach), you have fun with that person and there is sexual attraction.

If you are “in love” with someone then there should be a sexual attraction between the both of you. Sure there will be nights that one of you won’t be in the mood, but for the most part, you will want and you will enjoy sex with your boyfriend. Every night won’t be a ten on the sex scale, but you should at least want to try to make some nights a ten.

If you’ve reevaluated your situation with your boyfriend and you know that you are in love with him, then you need to sit down and figure out how to make the sex with your boyfriend more interesting for you. It doesn’t always seem like it, but men want women to enjoy sex and they want women to reach an orgasm. Next time you masturbate, figure out what really gets you turned on and bring that to the bedroom with your boyfriend. Try different positions. Does one position feel better than the others? If it does, try doing that position more often. Indulge in more oral sex. Many women cannot achieve and orgasm with penetrated sex. Sometimes the “G” spot is on the outside on the clitoris.

If you can achieve orgasms while having sex with your boyfriend then it will make you more interested in the sex itself. It is sort of like finding something to wear when you go out. Finding the item to wear isn’t always fun, but rather it’s knowing that after you get all dressed up, you will go out and have fun. If you are enjoying the sex, you will be more into it and it won’t seem like a chore.

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1. Ask A Hot Chick: Saying I Love You
2. Ask A Hot Chick: Women Are Always Cold
3. Ask A Hot Chick: Problem With Porn
4. Ask a Hot Chick: Putting On Pounds
5. Ask A Hot Chick: Fantasizing About Other Women

Tags: bad in bed boring sex boyfriend bad in bed